AVITH in Context: Exploring the Lived Experience of Adolescent-To-Mother Violence

In the AVITH in Context: Exploring the Lived Experience of Adolescent-To-Mother Violence webinar, we hear from researcher, Dr David Burck (University of Queensland), presenting findings from his recently published thesis, ‘A silent shame: Exploring the lived experience of adolescent-to-mother violence where there is a history intimate partner and family violence‘.

Dr David’s research brings young people’s voices to the forefront, with young people and mothers describing their lived experience of adolescent-to-mother violence in their own words. Dr David focuses on how young people and their mothers understand and make sense of adolescent violence, in cases where the family has already experienced domestic and intimate partner violence by an adult perpetrator.

Audience
Frontline staff, researchers and policymakers.

Summary and key messages

Young people as victim survivors in their own right

Often young people’s experiences of violence are minimised or dismissed because their experience isn’t fully recognised. Dr David emphasises being present during violence, being aware of or  overhearing violence, seeing the outcome of assault and/or calling police are all experiences that practitioners should recognise as valid experiences that can have dramatic impacts on a young person.

Mothers experience a ‘Triangle of Shame’

Mothers reported feeling judged and blamed from three separate sources; initially from abusive partners who undermine them and instil feelings of worthlessness, then from their experiences of children whose behaviours reinforce their feelings of incompetence. When they do finally seek help, they then experience further judgement and lack of understanding from family, friends and support services. The culmination of these experiences leads mothers to feeling trapped in their sense of shame and often become completely socially isolated.

Conflict between safety and maternal care

The research found that mothers wanted themselves and their child to be safe, but to also help their child who was using violence. This often led to a conflict between feelings of resenting the violence being used by the young person but also wanting to care for and nurture them. Mothers reported that they found it difficult to reconcile these two feelings.

Impact of adult men’s violence

The main impacts of adult men’s use of violence against women and children is the resulting trauma for both mothers and young people, disruptions to mother/child attachment as well compromised mothering and reduced agency in the home. For some young people, the violence may also model instrumental violence as a way of achieving a desired outcome.

Parental contact

It was reported that some fathers were using contact with young people to actively fuel the conflict at home (e.g. sending text messages that continue to undermine the child’s mother). It was also the case that even when not actively encouraged to promote violence, when young people returned from contact with their fathers, they experienced heightened emotions that led to aggressive behaviours.

Disengaging when being perceived as the ‘problem’

The research found that mothers and young people will shut down and disengage if they are being perceived as the ‘problem’ or the ‘perpetrator’. In some cases, young people felt as if they were being judged by the support and began ‘putting a wall up’ when talking to practitioners.

Positive ways forward

Safe attachment is how a child can learn about themselves and the broader world around them. It is a known protective factor against the impacts of trauma. Parent/child emotional support enables young people to better regulate their emotions. In nearly all cases, both mothers and young people reported that they were longing for a closer relationship with each other, and something which practitioners can use as a unifying goal to work toward.

Next steps

The research identified that in south-east Queensland, there is a lack of services that work with both mothers and young people together. This is the work needed to allow for attachment-based and trauma-informed therapeutic responses. By developing these types of services, mothers and young people can be better supported to achieve positive outcomes for their families.

Resources

• Burck, David (2024). A silent shame: exploring the lived experience of adolescent-to-mother violence where there is a history of intimate partner and family violence. PhD Thesis, School of Nursing, Midwifery and Social Work, The University of Queensland.
• In Victoria, Family Safety Victoria are currently developing a Child and Young Person MARAM Risk Assessment Tool that will be available to practitioners working in Victoria to effectively work with young people using violence in the home to assess and manage risk.
• Find more information on the development of MARAM Practice Guidance and Tools.